Mary's Story

My name is Mary, I am currently 17 years old, turning 18 next month. I identify as Pangender and a Demigirl. I do not really have any preference of pronouns that people use when talking to me- I just like to think of myself as a human being. I am also Pansexual, which means that I am attracted to personality and want to bond with people on an emotional level over a physical one.

It was some time in Grade 8 that I started to identify as bisexual. I didn’t know about other sexualities at the time, but knew I had an attraction to more than one gender. I eventually found out about the term Pansexual and really related to it. I was in high school when I came out as Pansexual and, eventually, Pangender. I came out to my sister at this time. She was accepting and actually came out as Pangender as well!

At the same time that I was trying to figure out my sexual identity, I had to face the loss of my dad. I was at home and me and my mom got a call from my dad’s side of the family. They told us that he passed away from a heart attack. And then, I started to feel down and eventually started self-harming myself. I did this for a while, but then I stopped. I knew I needed to find a healthy coping mechanism. I immediately turned to art. Beading and sewing are my favourite things to do and they help me cope.

Even though my art helped me grieve, coming to terms with my sexuality was also beneficial. Coming out can be a hard thing to do. I was afraid people would judge me. I cared, but, at the same time, I didn’t. People need to be more accepting. People bullied me a bit, but I never let it bother me much because I am confident in who I am. The high school has a Positive Space club where we talk a lot about be accepting of all people. This is important not just in school, but at home too. At first, my mom did not accept that I like people outside of what was expected and dating people despite their gender. She is better with this now.

I think coming out and talking about my sexuality has helped my mental health because it gives me the freedom to be who I truly am.